Over the last few months I have had more than a few moments where I've thought, 'Oh! I oughta document that on the blog!' and then I remember that my blogging days have pittered away to nada the last year or two. Darn it! I want to be better! So, we'll see how this goes.
The last couple weeks since school has started for the girls has been really exciting. Exciting not because I'm going on wild adventures and eating my way through all the local restaurants (although that would be AMAZING, especially if the calories didn't count!) - exciting because Jason and I are finally settling into somewhat of a routine. He's becoming more and more predictable and his night time sleep patterns have drastically improved (going from four wake-ups at night to just one or two). I'm able to keep my house in decent order, I have time for myself, and most of all - MOST OF ALL - I've found that I'm an even better mom to my girls when the get home from school.
The other day, on the way to school, Sarah said 'Mom, you are really funny sometimes!' and I realized that it hurt my heart that she doesn't know the funny, goofy side of me that I have always loved about myself. Lately I've been working on being a little more silly and indulgent...although it's still crazy hard when I get a case of the hangries.
I'm really enjoying motherhood these days which is pretty amazing because six months ago I was pretty sure I'd never survive. Jason has been my hardest baby by far but I think through the difficulty we are finding that he is a joy beyond measure. I also think that because he'll be our last I'm able to really soak up every bit of him - that and I have all day with him alone. When he was in the midst of his worst baby-times a sweet friend at church held him for a long while at a dinner. She brought him to me at the end of the evening and as she passed him back to me she said, 'He's something special you know. His spirit, I can feel it.' That always struck me because as much as I loved him I was struggling so much. But right now - I see what a sweet spirit he is. His smile and presence light up anyone who is near. It's really pretty phenomenal.
I really love how the girls have embraced their brother in spite of him being loud and grumpy a lot of the time. They are so sweet. I remember feeling so much grief when he'd cry (literally) all day long and he couldn't sleep. I felt awful that the girls had to listen to his wails and then they wouldn't have any attention from me. One day I sat them down and told them how much pain Jason was in and that's why he cried so much. Once they understood that he cried because he hurt they were so loving (not that they weren't before but they just didn't understand) and caring with him. I am so blessed by my three sweet babies. Every night I reflect on my family and am so grateful for each big and little person under this roof.
No comments:
Post a Comment