Happy Birthday To You!

Today Sarah is three years old. Oh my goodness, what happened? When did life start going so fast? She's the reason for the smile on my face when sometimes I feel like I have nothing left to give. Sarah's genuine concern for me inspires me to pull it together and know that all will be alright. I am amazed at the love she has in her heart for her sister and her mommy and daddy.

The other day she and I were driving and I pulled my visor out and whacked myself in the eyebrow. It was hard enough to bruise and my eyes watered. I yelped, 'ouch!' and Sarah was immediately concerned. "What happened, Mama?" I explained I hurt my eye and her response was to simply rub it and it will feel better. "Rub it, Mom. It feels better see?" And it did, but I couldn't tell you if it was her genuine concern and love for me or the rubbing of my eyebrow that made me feel better.

Today Sarah woke up and I had a gazillion things to do for the Primary program tomorrow so I felt bad that I was type-type-typing away while she watched a movie. After the movie she asked me, "Mom, just one more phone call then you're done?" My heart melted. One more phone call then I was done, this is my little girls birthday. We ventured to Nana's house where we waited for Ethan, Evin, and Emmet to get there and went to the Marine Science Center in Poulsbo. I haven't been there for probably 13 years and it has changed! It's awesome! Sarah and the kids had a blast and got to pet some starfish. They looked at eels and salmon and trout and 'nemo-fish' and colored and cut and pasted and all sort of fun stuff. I have a feeling it will be our winter activity hangout.

Tonight we had our Primary Program practice and then Joel and I took the girls home. It was a LONG day for everyone. We are excited for tomorrow and Sarah can't wait to open presents and have some cake. We're having a small family dinner to celebrate Sarah's birthday and Evin's first ballet recital. Aunty Squirrelpants is coming to visit and we'll hopefully get to have fun chatting about wedding details! YAY!

Joel and I celebrated our four year anniversary this week and I must say I couldn't have imagined ever being so happy and contented in my life. He's the best thing in my whole world. Okay okay, he's ties for the top three spots in my world but my other two best things wouldn't have been possible without him so he might default for first place because of that. :) Thank you, Joel for surpassing every expectation I've ever had in my 'dream guy'. You amaze me everyday and I will always be grateful for all that you've done and continue to do in my life.
My sweet Allison is just that, so sweet. She's all smiles. And the best part - I think her favorite person in the world is Joel. When he walks in to the room, she lights up like Christmas morning. Oh yeah, she's gonna have him wrapped around her pinky. He's thrilled that she smiles so much and has taken such a liking to him. Anytime you just look at her with a smile on your face she just chuckles. She's really started reaching for our faces and just seems like she's growing much too fast for my comfort. I can see the transition from baby to whatever the next stage is. :)

So, Happy Birthday, Sarah. You are my little girl and always will be despite all the growing you do each and every day. You inspire me with your pure love and care for those around you. Stay strong my sweet girl and know your Mommy and Daddy love you so very much.

Bullet List of Updates

I figured I needed to update with the latest and greatest sooner rather than later so I've decided to bullet-point my updates since I'm lacking motivation to do it novel-style. Here goes: :)

• Our laptop went down and we installed the latest version of Windows, Windows 7. I just have to say LOVE IT. It's awesome. We went from XP to 7 and are so happy with how it works, how it runs, it's features, and it's basic functions. A+. Thanks Squirrel!
• Joel's started his cutting board endeavors and is having a great time with it. We're going official and getting licenses and whatnot. We'll be selling on Etsy.com here soon so I'll let you know what the official website is. Please remember the holidays are coming and cutting boards make FANTASTIC gifts! :)
• Allison's sleeping has improved DRASTICALLY since moving her downstairs. I was only getting up around once a night for a while and more recently now twice a night. I'm hoping she'll get back to twice a night once she gets used to the time change. She takes better naps and is all around a way happier little camper these days.
• Sarah and Allison had a splendid Halloween! Sarah was a dragon and Allison was an elephant. Sarah was so excited and her energy was totally contagious. We went to a little preschool carnival at the parks and rec center where she ended up throwing a huge fit, but all in all a success.
• I was recently called to be First Counselor in the Primary and have been doing lots of prep for our Sacrament Program and am thrilled it's only two weeks away. We've all been working really hard to make it awesome and I know our kids will do fantastic.
• My weight loss endeavor is slowing but I'm still losing. It's probably the healthier way to go. I finally decided on a goal weight which I'm 5 pounds away from. When I hit that weight I will have lost 65 pounds since my heaviest with Allison. Wahoo!!
• Sarah is really growing SO fast. She spent the night in her crib WITHOUT a diaper for the first time ever. AND she woke up dry! We are so ecstatic. She is so happy to be a 'big girl'. Her new favorite thing to do is dance. She asks me all day long to turn music on. She's got quite a rhythm too, and sometimes she sings along just echoing some of the words she hears in the songs. It's hilarious. Joel, Me, and Sarah often have 'dance parties' at night after Allison has gone to bed. Good times had by all.
• Allison's personality is starting to shine through. Her laugh makes my heart smile. She reaches for things all the time and wants to get up and play with her big sister. Sarah and Allison are buddies and I can't wait to see how they grow together.
• The night that we decorated pumpkins I dropped the camera on the ground and broke it. So until we get one to borrow or fork out the dough to get a new one, my blog will be empty of photo's. And trust me, no one is sorrier than I am.

Back From the Depths!

After a malfunction with the laptop, we were relying on only the desktop and my access to the internet was limited to moments of time where both children were otherwise occupied (besides sleeping since the computer is in with Allison.) But my friend Squirrelpants made it happen and we're back in action with the laptop. I'm too excited to venture around Windows 7 to stop and focus on the gazillion things going on in our lives so I'm letting it go for now. I'd upload pictures too but alas I destroyed the camera after the first two pictures taken of our pumpkin decorating...dropping a camera on the ground doesn't do much for sensitive lenses...

Getting in Shape

Today the first two sessions of General Conference were on TV. Sarah and Allison and I did our best to pay attention...okay...I did my best and Sarah and Allison were trying to be troopers for their mama. The talks in the morning received more of my attention and they truly hit home in so many ways. I love General Conference. I love listening to the Prophet and the Apostles. I remember it being one of my favorite times (two of my favorite?) of the year when I was an investigator and a new convert. The words our leaders speak are truly inspired. I am always encouraged and motivated after Conference.

Between sessions I snuck in a drive out to Costco to take advantage of the last day of coupons for Skinny Cow Ice Cream Bars. As we were driving home I was thinking about how in shape I am. It started with me thinking about my body and how I can safely say this is the healthiest I've been. Then I thought about my emotional and mental shape. And today I'm mentally healthier than I've ever been as well. And then my thoughts ventured to my spiritual self. I really believe that motherhood and married life has buoyed my faith. I feel strong and faithful and steadfast. (As I type this my sweet Sarah is once again singing I Am A Child of God in her bed.) As I drove on and thought of being in shape and being at my best I realized that that is all I can ask for in my life. I am constantly improving and trying to be better than I have been in the past.

Focusing on where we've come from is so much more important than dwelling on how far we have to go. Try each day to be a little bit better.

In my own little spiritual experience, not five minutes later a familiar feeling came over me. I quit smoking cigarettes almost 6 years ago and in that moment I had a very strong and distinct craving for one. This was just a minute or less after my thoughts on spiritual strength. My mother-in-law once told me (before she was my mother-in-law) that you need only tell Satan to 'get thee hence' and he must leave your presence if you say it and mean it in faith. Those words have stuck with me and I used them today and I bear witness that those cravings faded just as quickly as they came on.

General Conference has accomplished it's intended purpose in me. The speakers have strengthened my faith, given me hope, and allowed me to lighten my burden through continuing faith in Jesus Christ. I am blessed to have been introduced to the Gospel and am grateful for it everyday.

The Sounds of...

Anyone who has spoken with me in the last few weeks (months even) knows that I am struggling with my sweet little Allison who is a bit of a stubborn sleeper. She goes down fine but continues to wake up every two hours to eat. And I'd let her cry but when I do go in to feed her her tummy is RUMBLING and gurgling as if it's empty. I've tried to start rice cereal at night but she's still young yet and can't coordinate the tongue movements. So our house has been neglected and I feel pretty terrible about it. The dishes go a few days without being washed and quite frankly only get done when I run out of something. Sarah's room has been trashed for a while and even my elusive sucker fish has come out of hiding as if to say, "Clean the darn tank!" The only thing I keep up on is keeping the children alive and dinner on the table.

Today was the day I ran out of measuring cups and small spoons. Sarah used the last one for her cereal so I decided it was time to load and run the dishwasher.

Cut to my childhood circa 1988. I remember going to bed at night and fearing that somehow I'd wake up in the middle of the night and my parents would be gone. When I'd wake up I'd listen for one particular sound that comforted me: the dishwasher. What parent would run the dishwasher and then disappear? (My nightmares were always that my parents would be gone.)

Cut back to today. I can hear the dishwasher, and much like the Golden Girls, it still comforts my heart in some random way. I'm feeling encouraged that I will be able to get things done today. Those dirty dishes that have been staring me in the face WILL get done. The laundry that needs folding, will be folded. And the sweeping, mopping, and organizing? That, too, will get done in time.

It also doesn't hurt that both girls are sleeping and that kind of temporal peace and comfort is unrivaled.

Uhm, Now Back to Me...

I told you I had more to say! This is all about me. Two weeks ago our ward boundaries changed and I was excited that my CTR class would be split and I'd have some new kiddos to teach. After meeting with the Bishopric I was asked to leave my calling as a Primary teacher and was offered a calling as First Counselor in the Primary Presidency. I was thrilled! I've been oogling the roles of the presidency for a few months and I suppose that was the spirit preparing me for what was to come. I am so excited to serve with some wonderful women!

And then for my latest personal joy (besides my family of course) is the efforts I've been putting into myself lately. Since June I've been taking an active role in what I eat, why I eat, when I eat, and how much exercise I'm getting. It's been fantastic. Okay, I wasn't going to say it but I'll tell you the whole story. This is, afterall, the Internet. Mom offered to pay for the first month of Weight Watchers for Jaimee and I so that we could all work together to lose the extra weight we no longer liked having. I was skeptical. I thought WW was for old women who let themselves go. I almost didn't even go to the meeting. Joel was apprehensive but tried to be supportive. He watched Sarah for the first meeting for me and I was able to go and be focused. It felt weird and I was intimidated but I gave it a try the next day. I was stunned by how much food I could eat! I wasn't starving. It was awesome. So weeks slowly went by and I lost more and more weight. To date I've lost 35+ pounds since June and 60+ pounds since Allison was born. I know...it blows me away too.

It sounds like I'm in a commercial but it's not really about Weight Watchers - it's about me. It's about for the first time in my life that I feel like I'm truly doing something fantastic for my body, my family, my mind, and my future. Day after day I'm in service of my children and my husband and I love it. But it is so fulfilling to work on myself, do something for myself, and succeed! I've always battled my weight and struggled with exercising and I know that will never stop. But now I feel like I can manage it with all the tools I've learned over the last few months. I'm about 5 pounds away from my original goal but about 10-15 pounds away from my "dream" goal. When I reach it I just might share it as a symbol of my accomplishment. This is the first time in my life that I actually weigh LESS than what it says on my driver's license and that is a good feeling.

Much Needed Updates

And when I say much needed, I mean that because this is my online journal just as much for my reference as for yours. I am very bad at baby books and even worse at scrap booking so this is how I document the life of myself and my family. So here goes...

Joel took vacation a couple weeks ago and during that time he managed to get the shed up and 95% complete. All that's left is some cedar-shingle applications and some paint. Inside he's found storage for random auto parts that aren't needed frequently, paint, garden supplies, and miscellaneous chemicals and whatnot. It's small but it works for it's needed purpose - making room for his woodworking tools.

That is our other fun accomplishment. My dad has a friend who used to be an avid woodworker but who has since encountered too many health problems to continue his endeavors. The large amount of space the machines took up was more than the man's wife could handle, so in exchange for some yard labor and demo at her house, Joel was gifted some amazingly awesome woodworking machines (a planer, table saw, radial arm saw, belt sander, and a band saw to name a few). Joel's always wanted to make cutting boards and other small wood crafts to sell for extra money. He wants to be able to fund his datsun restoration with the proceeds of the crafts he sells. So this is our latest project. He's in heaven. He loves creating things and loves even more the satisfaction of making such beautiful products for others to enjoy. So, we went out and splurged on some good quality woods and he has started his first eight cutting boards. I have to say, I'm pretty familiar with Joel's capabilities but these boards are beautiful!

While Joel's been busy working, building, organizing and whatnot I've been trying to maintain the homefront on minimal sleep. Unfortunately I've been slacking on housework so Joel has been coming to my rescue on more than several occasions. Allison has decided that much like everything else in their lives so far, she is going to have completely opposite sleep patterns than Sarah did when she was little. Sarah would SCREAM and SCREAM and then finally fall asleep for the night and sleep a good 8-12 hours straight. Allison will coo and giggle and laugh in her bed until she goes to sleep and then wakes up about every 2 hours on average through out the night. I've been trying to narrow it down as to why she is having such a hard time sleeping but the doctor summed it up for me today at Alli's 4 month check up - It's just her personality.

We're also working on feeding better. Allison writhes and wriggles and cannot relax when she's nursing and often has a steady stream of milk leaking out of her nose as she nurses. The doctor assured me also that those are all fairly normal behaviors. Allison is just a finicky nurser and needs there to be NO surrounding noises or distractions, and if she isn't totally hungry she will be wriggly and tense and I just have to recognize that. At the doctor's today, I was asked if Allison rolls over or grabs at toys that are in front of her. Bashfully I replied that she doesn't, but that she doesn't spend much time on the ground either. Well, apparently Allison's just been waiting for some ground time because she was rolling back and forth grabbing toys when we got home. So, yes, my baby is developing awesome.

Updates on Sarah are less obvious because everyday it's just little things that surprise me about her. The things she says or does and I think - that's too grown up. I'm not ready for you to be saying or doing that! The other night as Joel and I sat on the couch we had a conversation that we're both familiar with...it goes something like this:

Joel: "We're actually married. Can you believe it?"
Jenna: "I know, I'm really lucky I get to live with my best friend."
Joel: "Yeah, and we have children...weird..."
Jenna: "Just think, in 12 years we'll have a 15 year old."
Joel: "Stop talking."

We both laugh but it's becoming a little scary how fast time is flying by. Sarah is conversational and is making sense with her rationalization of things. It's crazy. And I wouldn't change it for the world. I have a few more updates I'd like to make but I'll save those for this evening or tomorrow or whenever I get to them...they include personal goal achievement on my part, a new calling for me, and uh, I had one more but I forgot. Basically - they will be all about me. YAY! My favorite!