Anyone who has spoken with me in the last few weeks (months even) knows that I am struggling with my sweet little Allison who is a bit of a stubborn sleeper. She goes down fine but continues to wake up every two hours to eat. And I'd let her cry but when I do go in to feed her her tummy is RUMBLING and gurgling as if it's empty. I've tried to start rice cereal at night but she's still young yet and can't coordinate the tongue movements. So our house has been neglected and I feel pretty terrible about it. The dishes go a few days without being washed and quite frankly only get done when I run out of something. Sarah's room has been trashed for a while and even my elusive sucker fish has come out of hiding as if to say, "Clean the darn tank!" The only thing I keep up on is keeping the children alive and dinner on the table.
Today was the day I ran out of measuring cups and small spoons. Sarah used the last one for her cereal so I decided it was time to load and run the dishwasher.
Cut to my childhood circa 1988. I remember going to bed at night and fearing that somehow I'd wake up in the middle of the night and my parents would be gone. When I'd wake up I'd listen for one particular sound that comforted me: the dishwasher. What parent would run the dishwasher and then disappear? (My nightmares were always that my parents would be gone.)
Cut back to today. I can hear the dishwasher, and much like the Golden Girls, it still comforts my heart in some random way. I'm feeling encouraged that I will be able to get things done today. Those dirty dishes that have been staring me in the face WILL get done. The laundry that needs folding, will be folded. And the sweeping, mopping, and organizing? That, too, will get done in time.
It also doesn't hurt that both girls are sleeping and that kind of temporal peace and comfort is unrivaled.
4 comments:
Oh, you sweet thing. How can I reassure you that this will be over SO soon!? And weirder than weird, it's like labor. You remember that it's the hardest thing you ever did, but can't actually truly remember the honest true-ness of it. One day, for no explanable reason, Allison will sleep. And then, her baby sleeplessness will fade into family lore. In the meantime, there's a poem from the 70's (yeah, us too) that said, in part, something like, "Hush up cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my babies, and babies don't keep."
Thank you, Mom, for your words of encouragement. I keep trying to tell myself that the sleep will come back and life returns to what can be construed as some kind of normal. I guess my only real concern is for my family and how my sleeplessness affects them (i.e. temper and grumpies and too-tired-to-play-ies.) I just have to remind myself that Joel married me grumpies and all...and know that Sarah won't harbor ill will towards me or Allison because I was tired for 6 months out of her second year of life! :) Love you!
Ahhh...the joys of having young children! I keep telling myself I will clean the bathroom today and of course I don't (because there are a lot of other things to be done, right?!) At least our children are getting the essentials to keep them alive and happy:)
This is my first time on the computer in a month! As I'm catching up I have the dishwasher running and washer and dryer going. Everyone's asleep but me, I LOVE the soft rythmic humming. Somehow it IS so comforting! Hang in there... love you!
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