my sweet baby girl

I wrote this a while back and just found it again.  Thought I'd post it.  Made me cry all over again.

The other day, while shopping at Costco, you gave me quite a scare. Sarah, one minute you were there and the next you were gone. You seemed to have just disappeared into the aisles. I knew the princess dress-up clothes and the 'just my size' Mercedes SUV toy would be tempting but when I looked I couldn't see you. My heart seemed to stop and speed to a rapid pace at the same time. I ran down aisle after aisle screaming your name while other customers gave me curious side-glances. Oh, Sarah, if you only knew my panic at the thought of losing one of the most important gifts I've ever received.




I knew I should stop and tell some one, an employee, that you were missing but my brain told me to keep running and you'd be just ahead at the next aisle. Thankfully, your Aunty Jaimee had the peace of mind to track down an employee and get the exits shut down for anyone matching your description.



It couldn't have been more 15 minutes but they were the most agonizing 15 minutes I've ever endured. At last, as I stopped to ask some employees if they had seen you, I spotted your pigtails and pink pants blur by. I didn't even finish my sentence. The tears came to my eyes and I ran to you calling your name. You had already caught sight of your Nana and were running towards her.



I scooped you up into my arms and cried and told you how much I loved you. You seemed unphased by your journey, but when I looked you in the eye your whole mask of calm cracked and you began to whimper as you said, 'Mama, where were you? I was looking for you." Oh Sarah, I was looking for you, too.



My sweet angels, I am always looking for you and after you. And when I roar out at you to STOP! or NO! I am simply letting my mama-bear instincts take over because I'm scared you will get hurt or put yourself in some other danger. You are my purpose here. I am charged with your care until you can be safely returned to your Father in Heaven and that is a job I take very seriously.



Allison, indeed you scare me with your fearlessness. You have no mercy when it comes to showing me just how independent you are. And I LOVE that about you, it reminds me of myself. But please remember that independence must be balanced with humility. Your strength in character will be your key to survival in many situations. I pray that I can nourish that quality in encouraging and gentle ways.



My little ones, I write this note to you both - and to every child, old and young, to remember that there is always some one who values your life more than you know. It may be your parents, sisters, brothers, friends - but it will always be your Father in Heaven. In as much as I love you, Sarah and Allison, your Father in Heaven's love is hundreds of times greater, and He is ALWAYS watching over you.