Yesterday was one of those days where everything seemed to hit just the right nerve in my eyeballs to cause them to start leaking uncontrollably. It could have been any number of things - my greatly missed grandmother's birthday, the election, pregnancy, stress, nerves, anxiety, short temper, tiredness...could've been anything. But it was knocking on my door needing to be addressed. Poor Joel got the brunt of it again.
He was late coming home and since my cell phone broke AGAIN (fourth phone this year) and he is letting me use his, he was out of contact after work. After an hour and a half I started getting worried. Turns out he went to vote (I love that man) and had to wait a long time in line. I just started bawling like a baby. It was even the sniffly hiccup can't-catch-your-breath kind of cry that we laugh at Sarah for doing. I knew it was ridiculous. I knew I sounded like an idiot but the tears wouldn't stop. And Joel just sat there next to me, arm around my shoulders, letting my eyeballs leak all over his shirt. He kept saying, "You get it all out now you won't have to do this for at least another 6 months...okay maybe one month."
At least I'm not nauseous too much anymore. Now the emotions are on full-bore. Sarah has even looked concerned several times when I have started to cry randomly. In fact, yesterday there was a recap of the presidential campaign with excerpts from speeches and interviews etc. I just lost it and poor Sarah was looking at me saying, "Mama? Mama, happy! Mama? Sorry Mama." She's really very sweet. The other day she dropped something on me or hurt me somehow and I gasped with a pained look and she started crying. It was very sweet and endearing. How can you be upset at something like that?! :)
Overall, things are going really well after all is said and done. I'll be 12 weeks on Friday and in another month should be having an ultrasound! Wahoo!! Joel is going back and forth on finding out the sex but I think we're sticking with our original plan of keeping it a mystery.
2 comments:
My eyes startd welling up just reading this! I think with times how they are and the state our country is in(not to mention being pregnant)it's easy to let your emotions get the best of you. Maybe because pregnancy is still a familiar feeling for me or maybe because I've had so many of these kind of days lately, I know exactly how you feel and wish I was there to hug you and we could soak each others shoulders instead of our husbands! I love you Jenna girl!
It makes me so happy to see my kids communicate so lovingly with each other. Though it's been a year or two since I was in exactly your shoe-sies, I can remember like it was yesterday. My heart aches to hold you all, and put you on my lap in a rocker and just rock you and caress your sweet heads. And guess what? Your heart just continues to expand and hold more of you, and more love for you, and more aches for your aching, and more joy in your successes. I love you all so very much. mama
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