I'm dedicating this post in the hopes that through verbalizing (or blogging) my situation I might be able to find some solace or reprieve from this whole deal. I am having nearly un-controllable cravings for anything chocolate. I've managed to deny my cravings until the evening after dinner but as soon as I finish dinner I find myself seeking out what my next chocolate 'fix' will be. Tonight, I tried to curb the need for sweets by munching on some dehydrated apple slices - no luck. Shortly after finish my snack I wandered back to the kitchen for some sort of chocolate.
I managed to find about 2 tablespoons of leftover chocolate chips that were neglected during my last batch of cookies. I did it. I caved and ate them all up. And frankly, if that's all I eat tonight I think I'm in good shape. I'm REALLY trying to be better. The other night, Sunday night, I broke down in tears (poor Joel, again) was taken by surprise. I'm over it now, the tears were the result of nearly a week of not-enough-sleep and emotions on overload. But I made a commitment that I would work harder on not scarfing my face at the drop of a hat.
I'm also working on getting Jaimee's eliptical rider over here so that maybe if I have an easily accessible work-out machine that I can use at night while I'm watching the tube I really WILL use it. We'll see...
So, there it is. I'm putting it all out there and I'm holding myself accountable for the food that goes into my mouth. We have no chocolate left in the house - ooh, I was wrong, I have some chocolate mint pudding mix in the cupboard - so I have one more treat available at hand and then that's it! No more chocolate shopping, even if it is 70% off at Albertson's for their post-valentine sale!
1 comment:
what is it about being pregnant that makes us an unfillable hungry machine? I get the part about making a baby and you body needs extra calories and such, but I am with you. I am affraid to be pregnant again 1st due to the pain in my ribs starting at 5 months and on but 2nd due to the fact that a lot of my pregnancy I binge, I am hungary allll the time and DON'T have the self control that you do. I gained about 45 with each of my pregnancies. I give you credit for each chocolate chip you don't eat.
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