bullet list update

I realized this blog has become my sounding board for my anxiety this year.  I use it to document my life mostly but this year has been so rocky that I've found it's purpose mostly becoming a diary instead of a journal.  Does that makes sense?  Maybe...anyway, you don't care because you aren't me 50 years from now.  And I just imagine the me from 50 years ago will say, 'Enough whining!  Tell me about my babies and my home and my husband' and so this is for the 80 year old me nostalgically flips through the printed and bound versions of this here blog.  I hope this is in volume 2 of at least a 10 volume set...

• As I mentioned, this year has been rough.  We haven't seen much even-keel, it's been either way high (think vacation to Hawaii and brand new kitchens) to super low (nearly losing my husband to a deranged gunman and falling into the horrific grasp of depression and anxiety).  We're still alive, we're still kicking, we love each other.  It's enough.
• Sarah is still loving kindergarten - although that has seen it's ups and downs - they are mostly ups.  She hates weekends but mostly it's because I still make her take a rest (naptime) and she simply can't stand it.  We've already discussed not having boyfriends until she's sixteen since she's been asked a few times...and she's already called me out on being the toothfairy.  She has also broken the ice in asking why girl parts and boy parts are different and asked if she could see pictures of both.  Oh, and she wanted to know what they are for...
• Allison has become this amazing person.  She still is my stubborn, crazy, loud, Krakken....but she's also become this hilarious little jokester.  She loves making people laugh and she does it intentionally.  She has the sweetest little voice and carries on the silliest conversations.  I love her imagination.  She clings to me like cellophane (to quote a song from my teen years) which drives me a bit nutty sometimes but I try to remember there will be a day I want her to cling and she'll have nothing to do with it.
• Joel has had a year.  Like I said - rough year.  He's managed to stay crazy busy and when he isn't he's hanging out in his man-chair blowing off steam while playing video games on the Xbox.  It's fun because he plays online with one of his best buddies who lives right down the street.  So his buddies wife, one of my best girlfriends, will often craft or bake or chat or do something Twilight-y while they play games.  Joel's current project is fixing up a Jeep we bought and intended to keep but it's sounding like it will be a flip-project to fund the painting of the Thunderbird so that we can fund our ultimate goal rig - the Ford F350. 
• I've been doing much of the same I do every year...trying to raise up my girls to be amazing young women, keeping the household together, maintaining a budget (hah!), and loving my husband.  I have to say - despite the roughness of the year I know now more than ever that I love my husband.  If this year has done anything, it has solidified my love for my family and my faith.  I am not sure where I'd be if I didn't have those things loving and supporting me.
• As for our home, we've done lots of improvements.  We've put in concrete planter boxes in the front, redid the kitchen, painted the dining room while also building a nook-style table with storage benches for seating.  We've upgraded to a lazy-boy chair and loveseat in the living room and a new carpet.  We even bought some chickens and built a coop for their sweet little selves.  We've put up new decor (just a few things, but they count!), brainstormed new projects, demolished old woodpiles and junkpiles, stacked more wood, cleaned up the property, and bought an outside freezer for extra food. 
• This year we took more family vacations together.  Joel and I went on a belated honeymoon to Hawaii for four days.  It was beautiful.  We were also able to go camping three or four different times this summer.  We found a sweet day camping spot on Lake Crescent on the Olympic Peninsula.  There is a quiet alcove where the girls can safely splash in the water while Joel and I can relax.  We camped at Dungeness State Park also on the Olympic Peninsula, at Joel's dad's property, and in Cle Elum at Ensign Ranch for a family reunion with Joel's mom's side of the family.  The girls were able to explore and get dirty and sleep outside and play on the beach and get wet and laugh and fish and see nature and go on hikes and visit with family and swim and cry and squeel...and they played non-stop at the giant slip-n-slide at Ensign Ranch.  Twas a good time indeed.

We've done a LOT this year - I have to keep reminding myself of that when I look at our bank account and wonder where it all went.  We lived most of the time.  We survived through some of the time.  We enjoyed it all.  It's life.  And I realized, after nearly losing Joel, that what really matter is that we live.